Inspiration, and where we find it

Life is funny sometimes.

Last week, I met a young man who had been to hell and back, in his battle against leukemia.  His battle, and more importantly, his attitude, along with the story of the people who helped him on his journey back to recovery were an inspiration to me and the other TNT runners who met last Thursday.  Tonight I watched a similarly inspirational tale "Into the Wind", the ESPN 30for30 presentation by Steve Nash and Ezra Holland about Terry Fox's epic battle against cancer - and what he did when he realized that young children had been suffering from the same challenges as him.

I find myself in a contemplative mood, so I will wax rhapsodic to the citizens of the interweb.  (Note: when writing this, I imagined a voiceover to a video montage, not dissimilar to that which starts or completes an episode of Grey's Anatomy, so please, when you're reading this, read it in that tone).

Where does one find inspiration?  How about fulfillment?  Is it in seeing someone fight towards accomplishing seemingly unattainable goal, such as survival?  Is it found while watching the heroic nature of certain members of society?  What about activities?  Is it watching good conquer evil, or is it something more abstract - a bag floating in the wind; a beautiful flowering landscape; a brilliant catch of the football?  In art? In music? In fantasy?  In god?  In ourselves?

I guess, for each of us it's different.  For me, I get inspired by the triumph of the underdog.  I unfortunately don't find a lot of deep inspiration in my life, so I hold on for the ride of my life when I find it.  I'm not a particularly spiritual being, so I don't find it in God.  Don't get me wrong, I respect those who have found a belief, no matter what the reason or justification -- I just don't share it.  I get fulfilled by, of all things, the belief of others in me.  Watching the old videos of Terry Fox, this was a guy who found something to believe in.  He fought hard to accomplish his goal, and was ultimately effective in his tribulations.  He was inspired to act, took the bull by the horns, and went for it.

I run for those who can't.  Cancer and all of its evil cohort can stay in hell and not take any beautiful, fantastic people down with it.

Now regarding fulfillment, I don't find that in my life; At the moment, I feel somewhat lacking in direction.  I don't know what to believe in.  Over life, I've accomplished nearly everything that I have through a combination of good fortune and hard work.  I've busted my ass repeatedly and continuously in order to get where I am today, largely at the expense of other, possibly more important things in life.  In thinking about what I've done over the course of life, I think back to when I felt I've been truly happy, and have come to the conclusion that I feel fulfilled when I feel loved by those around me.  Now I know that there will be those in the crowd who take that last comment, and "make it gay", or whatever they like, but it's true.  I have a builder personality type.  A caretaker.  I feel best when I'm able to help those who are close to me meet their goals, and when they in turn can return the favour**.  Don't get me wrong, there are other components to fulfillment in the form of diversion, education, satisfaction, but largely, that's where I derive my satisfaction.

I went online last week and ordered a bunch of copies of a John Blumberg book entitled "Silent Alarm: A parable of hope for busy professionals" to distribute to members of my team.  Those who work for FTI will recognize it as one of the pieces of paradoxical propaganda we were given at new hire orientation -- with the key focus on understanding what it is in life that truly brings value (relationships over vocational success), and understanding that a good work/life balance is critical to your overall happiness.  Someday I hope to have a life/life balance.  That's one of the reasons I'm in the technology business.  I truly believe that the balance is important, because I for one don't seem to be able to find true happiness without the relationships.

Obviously, given my meandering, I'm finding myself with a little more time than I used to have to philosophize on the meaning of life, happiness and all that jazz.  The question is, is it wrong?  I don't know.  I like who I am, and it's hard-wired in my personality to help those that I'm capable of helping.  I just wish it were as easy to find that inspiration when I'm only living for myself as it is when love is in the air.

Waxing rhapsodic and closing the door on tonight.

Love y'all.
Dave




** Screw you chrome, I'm not removing the "u".  Get over it.  It's not misspelled.

Recommitment, and meeting my first Honoree.

This week was recommit week.

For those of you unfamiliar with Team in Training, recommit week is a pretty serious week.  It means that you have to lay your credit card on the line, and back up your desire to make the run.  Putting your money where your mouth is, so to speak.

So, as of today, I'm on the hook for $2598.  Oy.  I guess I need to get fundraising - please click here for a link to my fundraising page to donate.  Anything helps.

I'll never let anybody tell me that I'm a commitment-phobe ;)

On the plus side, I'm now registered for the marathon, have a flight and hotel booked for the week (Yep... am taking a week off following the marathon to relax on the beach, do some surfing, diving, and maybe play some golf.  I think that there's a strong chance that pina coladas and mai tais are in my future.  Mmmmm.

A special, inspirational meeting

I actually had an opportunity to meet one of the TNT honorees last week, and it was really special.  His name is Greg, and he's a 17-year old guy with Leukemia.  Greg came by the track at Stanford last Thursday after our training session.  The abridged version of his story is that he was diagnosed with Leukemia about 5 years ago, and was treated at the Lucille Packard Children's Hospital with a drug that was developed with funds coming from the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society (which is the charity for which Team in Training raises funds).  He's alive today directly as a result of people like you who donate to the cause.

In any event, he was treated with this drug (I can't remember the name of the drug or the family), and it put the cancer into remission.  He had a year as a healthy adolescent, then the cancer recurred.  He went on another drug and had a bone marrow transplant, after which he became allergic to cats [aside: this is interesting.  I've never heard of such a thing before].  So, here's this kid, who has been through two rounds of putting poison into his body, had a bone marrow transplant, and he's cool enough to come out to say hi and offer inspiration to the people who have the ability to affect his life, and the life of others.

He hobbled out onto the field under his own power with the use of a cane - having walked more than he'd walked in the entire month prior.

Honestly, it brings a tear to my eye thinking about it.  The stories of survival are incredible.  If you know someone who's battled with any sort of illness, talk to them about it.  Their struggle will change your outlook on life.

I'm going to call it quits for now.  I have much more content to add, but I'll let you noodle on it, as will I for now.

Dave

Jericho beach, party for Erika, and a nice surprise

So, I missed yet another group run this weekend... 


I think there was supposed to be a run in Portola Valley, but I opted to get on a plane on friday evening, fly to Vancouver and hang with my peeps.  It was Erika's 29.758904^th birthday party. You see, Erika's birthday is too close to to Christmas so she never gets a good party.  Paul got her good.


I got to see most of the Vancouver crew, and my GOD is there a lot of breeding going on in my particular group of friends.  Randy & Lindsay have Wyatt (less than a year old), Craig & Dawn have Alexandra (less than a year old), Troy & Anne have Austin (less than a year old), Jason & Jenny have 2 kids.  I was honestly afraid to drink the water at the party.... so I drank plenty of beer.  Seems pretty reasonable. 


Anyhow, one of the best things about coming to Vancouver for the weekend was the opportunity to stay at Tyler & Erin's place in Kitsilano.  In between the torrential downpours of the weekend, I got to don the sneakers and run out along the magnificent coastline of Vancouver.  It's nice to be from a place like this.


Anyhow, here's the run route.

I'm really digging runkeeper.  It's an iPhone app that tracks my route, pace, etc.  I'm sure this run will have cost me about $40 in overage fees from the bastards at AT&T.


Oh yeah, one of the fantastic things I discovered last night.... For ESPN's 30th anniversary, they're doing 30 documentaries.  One of these documentaries is on Terry Fox, who as aforementioned is one of the greatest people in Canadian history (along with Tommy Douglas).  Steve Nash, thank you for creating a documentary on one of my heroes.  Check out Into the Wind, premiering tonight in Canada on TSN2, and in the states on 9/28.  ESPN's 30 for 30.

Steve Nash and Ezra Holland take a look at the story of Terry fox and how he motivated the world by running across Canada in 1980 despite having his leg amputated three years prior when we was diagnosed with osteosarcoma.

That's all for now.  Watching about 4 games simultaneously with Craig and Randy right now.  I'm looking forward to getting home tonight.


Dave

The Human Piñata

So, weekend time... time to relax, get things done the way that you meant to do during the week, but for which you just didn't have the time or energy.

Friday was going well at work... calm, measured customers, I hired someone, and we had a wine and cheese social.  Pretty good end to the week.  Then, all hell breaks loose with one of our customers.  So, I get home, and at around 8, the following call ensues:

<phone rings>
Me: Hello?
Caller: Hey, It's [name redacted].  Can you get on a call tomorrow morning with some of the guys to talk through a response to customer x?
Me: Sure.
Caller: At 5am?
Me: Ummm... Really?

<caller explains reasoning for early call>

Me: Ok.

So, I crash at 9:30 on friday night.  Yep, I'm lame.

I wake at 5am and start a pot of coffee, joining the call in progress.

Long story short, I end up on the phone for nearly 8 hours, finishing up around 1:30pm with a call to the customer.  All is quiet on the western front.  In the process, I've missed my planned 7 mile run, and meeting up with a friend to check out a festival in downtown Mountain View.  Thank god I didn't miss the haircut.

What the hell is a human piñata, you ask?



The name of the post is how I explain my job to many people who don't either work in the technology industry.  I sometimes just say "I take shit for a living", but came up with a better descriptor: the human piñata.  I mean, really - think about it: as the director of a customer service organization, my job is invariably to:

1. Keep my customers happy
2. Make sure my team has what it needs in order to accomplish (1)
3. Ensure that our processes are defensible
4. Track statistics on the efforts associated with (1)
5. When customers aren't happy, to stand in front of my team - and company - and take the browbeating that frustrated attorneys, consultants and paralegals need to vent... being a voice of reason, full of compromise and helping my customer feel better about things**.

Aka: Human Piñata

Note: I stole this image from the toys R us website; It's a monkey piñata but it's a funny image.  It's got a pull string for some reason.  Buy it here.

So anyhow, this morning I woke up early and did my 7 miles.  Now I'm watching the 49ers hopefully pummel the Seahawks into submission.  Big eyes on Alex Smith today.  Now that he's got some decent receivers, what can he do?  So, sloth time, stretching and rolling.

Oh, and I'm making stew.  I love Sundays.

later.

**And yes, those of you who knew me in the bad old days realize that this is a little bit of irony.  There were a lot of days when I really needed a calming voice of reason.  How life does change as we mature.

I am the pace car

Thursdays are track days at Stanford.

Basically every week we get together as a group, and run in circles until we're tired.  Yep. Sounds fun, doesn't it?  About 50 people gather at 6:15pm at the center of the track, and warm up together, catch up on what's going on in each other's lives.

This week's session was all about pacing - interval training to build endurance, and to find your consistently comfortable race pace.  Start up, warm up, jog leisurely for 4 laps, and then break into waves.  I'm in the third wave, which means the fastest group.  This is for the sub-ten-minute mile runners, which surprisingly for the group isn't that large.

So anyhow, the objective here was to pick your pace and stick with it for the entire evening.  Twice around the track, 5 times, with 1 minute rest intervals in between.  I'm 2:03 every single time - to the point where the coaches are commenting on my consistency.  Woohoo... I am the pace car.

The interesting part was that afterwards, Sarah (one of the coaches) brought her friend Sarah, who's a personal trainer.  She took us through a bunch of isometric training exercises: squats, lunges, etc - all using body weight and keeping your core locked.  Yep, the IT band is tight again (preventing side lunges).  Gotta spend a few more hours rolling it.  Boy, that's fun.

That's about it for today's post.  Not all that interesting but I'm trying to keep the inertia.

In other unrelated news, Taco's in town for the weekend and Kevin's having a festival.  It should be good, following a Saturday morning run at the dish.  Oh, and a haircut.  God, I need a haircut.

Newton's first law of motion (or, the law of inertia)

Every body remains in a state of rest or uniform motion (constant velocity) unless it is acted upon by an external unbalanced force. This means that in the absence of a non-zero net force, the center of mass of a body either remains at rest, or moves at a constant speed in a straight line.

-- Isaac Newton, Principia Mathematica (1687)

So, what this means in a nutshell is that a body at rest tends to stay at rest, or a body in motion tends to stay in motion.  That's me.  I'm fundamentally lazy - I like my life in a state of organized chaos.  My principal fear about writing this blog is that I'll start it, write a few articles, and then stop, never to come back.  Hopefully the external force being applied will help... You see, the force is strong with this one.

Anyhow, a little bit more about why I decided to do the marathon, why Team in Training, and why I'm writing this blog.

The Marathon

Beginning ultimately when I moved to San Francisco in 2006, I started running - for exercise, as a form of stress relief, and just because I live in one of the most scenic cities in the world.  When I went to Australia for several months for work in early 2007, that love of scenery went with me, and I ran daily - either around the inner Sydney harbour, or around the Royal Botanic gardens in Melbourne.  I got into a state of fitness that even smoking, eating poorly, and drinking copious amounts of alcohol every night didn't affect me.  When I came back, I was a lean 153 lbs, and was running on average 10-15km per day.

That summer, I signed up for the San Francisco Marathon on a whim, two days before the race, while I was out eating lunch on a friday with a workmate.  I was to do the half, and never having run a race before, I was looking forward to it.  Well, I ran the half, completed in 1:53, and was ultimately out of commission for 6 months with an IT band injury. 

If you've never had one, IT band injuries suck.  Hard.  There's this big ligament that runs from your hip to your knee, and ultimately controls the range of movement in your leg.  The most common injury for runners is what's known as IT band friction syndrome, and that's what I had.  Fucking painful, it makes you ultimately unable to walk until you go through copious amounts of physical therapy, and learn to roll out the IT band after each and every exercise.

So really, the marathon is about completing what I started... and ultimately seeing if I can do the big race in under 4 hours without sustaining another injury.

Why Team in Training (TNT)?

This has been a ... challenging... year for me.  Without getting into too many details, I was married and divorced over the course of a single year, took a challenging new job, and moved from the city to Mountain View.  Most of my friends are either in Vancouver or Seattle, and I needed to meet new people.  Team in Training is a charitable organization that raises money for Cancer, advertises on the radio, and I know lots of people who have done it and loved it - meeting new friends over the course of the training.  So, it was mostly about meeting new people.  It also has the positive offshoot of a structured training program (good for preventing stupidity-induced injuries... see above).

I know this sounds sad, but the cancer thing didn't even really play into my decision at the time.  I'll get into why this is sad in a later posting.

Why blog?

I have a terrible memory for certain things, but I love new experiences and meeting new people.  This is a way for me to remember the journey, and get some thoughts out on "paper" without having to worry about what I'm saying. 

I also have to raise money for TNT.  When you join, you commit to raising a certain dollar amount.  In my case, it's $3100.  The money goes to fund cancer research, as well as to pay for my entry into the race and food etc during the two days in honolulu.  I've committed to this dollar amount, which basically means that I'm on the hook for $3k if I don't raise enough money.  I HATE HATE HATE asking people for money, even when it's for a good cause.  So, read the blog, think about the people who benefit from the fundraising efforts of TNT, and please, donate.  My fundraising page can be found here: http://pages.teamintraining.org/sj/honolulu10/dfraleigh

Many companies even match donations - so $50 from you may actually mean $100 to Cancer research.  I'm doing the easy part - running 26.2 miles around diamond head in Waikiki in december.  Those who have cancer, and their families are the ones who are doing the hard part. 

So yes -- appealing to the public for donations is one of my primary reasons for the blog.

Let's hope I can continue keeping an external unbalanced force on the effort.

Cheers
Dave

My life in shoelaces begins...

Why write a blog? Why start now? Why the stupid name?

Well... a lot of reasons really. First, someone very close to me whose opinion I value suggested that it would be a idea. You see, I'm running the honolulu marathon in December. My first marathon. I'm doing it through team in training, which is a charitable organization focused on providing releif to those who suffer from Leukemia, Lymphoma and other blood cancers. She said that it would help me put a face on what I'm doing, and allow me to express myself. I guess that's the big second reason - I've always been into the introspective/retrospective thing, and thought "hey, here's a creative outlet for you that doesn't require drawing straight lines, circles, or even for you to be truly creative." I can throw a stream of consciousness style posting on here, and appease myself, not focused on anybody but me.

It also allows me to chronicle my voyage from loveable soft cuddly teddy bear into lean mean running machine, which I like very much.

The name? Dunno. The simplest answer is I wanted it to have something to do with running. Probably the more thought out answer is that one of my favourite* books as a child was called 'Terry Fox and his Marathon of Hope'. It was by Douglas Coupland, who is a legendary Canadian author, and actually quite funny.

Terry Fox, for the uninitiated, is a true Canadian hero. If you ever want to be truly inspired, check out what this teenager did at a time when many of us would just collapse under the burden of grief. When at the age of 18, they found a malignant tumor in his right leg, doctors amputated his leg just above the knee, and he had the brilliant idea to raise money for the Canadian Cancer Society. His goal: to run from coast to coast in Canada (around 5,000 miles - from the Atlantic to the Pacific) - at a pace of a marathon PER DAY - on his amputated leg, and raise funds for the Canadian Cancer society all during the while. He stopped his journey when he was medically unable to do so, after the cancer spread to his lungs. If you're ever in Thunder Bay, Ontario, there's a memorial to Terry. I recommend you visit, if only for that. Anyhow, why the name? In the book (and I don't know if this was done with literary license or in truth), he named his adidas trainers "Speedy" and "Spunky". I have no idea why I remember this, but I do, and I liked the thought... so, keeping with the shoe motif, here it is with shoelaces.

And yes, I'm aware that Steve Fanyo completed Terry's journey and wanted all the credit for doing so. I don't like Steve Fanyo. I never have. Sorry Steve.

So there you have it. Post #1 for my life in shoelaces.

Dave

* yes, I'm Canadian and I speak the Queen's English.  Sorry if you don't like that, but get used to it.